distorted
in a world of lost paths misguided thoughts and the miss perception of affection, we all find ourselves at one time or another at the crossroads, where paths meet and it is lovely or crash violently resulting in pain and loss.....
how to say i'm sorry for behavior that is not of myself, when in fact it
is my own doing.... there isn't a word that expresses the depth of hurt that had been caused by a split second decision, how sad to understand after the fact, feeling without desire to speak for the words mean nothing at all as they fall out of a worthless mouth....so goes the current path..no direction in mind and no end in sight simply wandering in and out of lives and damaging the most precious of encounters.... it is a friendship of respect and trust, of experience and commitment....tampered with by an outsider, meaning no harm, but a deadly blow not once now twice, deadly now since there will be no further encounter or interaction.... it is finished before it began and that is the path that is made of sand and is blown in the wind all over and nowhere at the same time...it is a guide to poor judgment and thoughtless decisions, it is life as i know it and the integrity that had once made me, is absent and replaced with a "good time" at any cost..... the image in the mirror is not one that could be recognized any longer by loved ones, rather it is distorted and yet reality.... i fear the pattern of pain i bring so easily without regard....
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