Nothing
A fair weather friend
but not always when weather is fair
around a few months
gone the rest steadily more
how do I expect to hold a relationship of any kind?
How do I stay a friend when I have nothing, not even tendrils,
to keep me anchored?
Why am I surprised to be alone
when alone is all I give myself?
Gone away
how to stay close?
the sacrifice seems worth the survival
but is it survival to live??
or to enjoy life?
I sacrifice my spirit to give my material life form and then
I agonize
bleed out
from the starvation
I have nothing,
noone,
and how can I expect more
when there is nothing in me to give
nothing of me
nothing
a vast swelling pit of bruised nothing
and yet more of nothing
can that exist? nothing more than nothing?
how do I exist?
swollen reflections of ripped pieces
nothing original
sewn together pieces of what could have been more
is there more?
I keep searching for more.......
but all I ever find is my way back
to nothing
nothing less
than nothing
I stretch for it all
but it feels like shadows
nothing real
nothing solid
particles falling apart in my hands
dust
shadows
am I a shadow?
???
sometimes
most times
it feels like there is nothing else
nothing substantial
to base me upon
only shadows
made of light
only dust
made of the lost
Invisible
deteriorated
no impression made
though clay is soft
what I wouldn't give
to be real
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