Letter To Those I Love
I know there may be no reason
I know it may be something insignificant
Or at least that's how it started,
this latest journey into black
into despair
the bipolar rollarcoaster I can't get off of
But here we are again
you and I
me going crazy with despair and heartache and the darkness that
overwhelms my soul sometimes
you wondering what the hell is going on, how we got here, why I can't
be happy
do you wonder why I can't be happy?
do you wonder what makes me lose it all?
do you wonder what the hell is wrong with me?
why I'm acting this way?
or do you understand it's just a part of me?
it is a part of me
sometimes it feels like all of me
or like it takes all of me to stave it off for one more day
it is a part of me
the part I wish I could kill off
the part I never want to share with the world, especially my loved ones
I know you love me, no matter what
at least, I know this on my good days
but on the bad days
especially in the bad cycles
I wonder if you love me enough to see me through this
I wonder why you love me through this
how do you love me thorough this?
and when will you give up on me?
I know I'm alot to handle
hell, I can't even handle myself
but I don't want you to run from me
Maybe you help me center
as bad as I get, as much as I can't control myself, feelings, reactions
maybe you keep that last line in place for me
I just wish I could be happy
before I lose my reasons to be happy
and I am so afraid that my lows
will kill the love you have for me
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