Soul Laid Bare

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Y do I keep feeling this

the feeling-goo I mean

I keep thinking I've got it all under control

wrapped up nicely and gone

and then a little squish happens and I start to realize

it was still there

I was just doing a damn good job of ignoring it

which makes me wonder about myself

how many times have I purposely stayed blissfully ignorant

and unaware of my own feelings

ignoring what is around me

so it can't touch me

yet another defense mechanism hard-wired into my being

Keep the winds at bay so I cannot discern which way they blow

whether death, pain, or love

it all goes thru the same filter of non-feeling

twisted away at the other end and buried deep where it never comes to light

not if I can help it