One of Those Days
Some days I just feel like an asshole with nothing to offer - nothing to hold onto.
An annoyance, a loser, a moron, worthless.
Like I pissed everyone off, and noone wants anything to do with me.
Like I'm not good enough for the people in my life - even the assholes.
Like I just want to go home, curl up in a blankie, lay there, maybe let a few silent tears run while noone can see.
Like any kind of interaction only proves what a fuckup waste of life I am.
Like everything requires a herculean effort.
Like I let everyone down.
Like the people I love the most only love me back out of pity.
Like it will never be any better than it is now.
I hate those days. I've had a lot of them lately. I know better sometimes, but that doesn't make it any better.
Why can't I just be good? Confident? Something better than me? Somebody Speciel and wanted? Why can't I at least feel that way?
And if I don't see anything good in me - no wonder nobody else can.
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