Better Than This
I can't do this anymore…can't fake my existence …
I can't justify this resistance
No matter my persistence..I can't go the distance
Can't fight the depths..Can't swim to the surface.
Deep is no longer comforting…alone..
I gasp for breath reaching for the shore
but I drown in my sorrows.
Cast shadows in the face of the sun
As hard as I try…I can't find the light inside of my mind..
Darkness has won
..I am done
I'm sorry if I let you down..
This was never my intent
I thought I was stronger…
but my will has been spent
Once I had something to hold onto..
But for justice I let it go
Leaves me floating in a sea of eternal unknown
All I needed was an anchor to hold my place
Just a hint of a history that I can embrace
But righteous as my thoughts..I'm left with a closed door
Again I feel.. as I can give no more
Dying in deception..Unnerved by rejection
Where can I find affection
reach for shelter..no protection
Spinning silently in thoughts of quest
All the while I'm feeling less
As other praise& hail..to the shell they can see
And all they conceive …why do they believe in me
Picture perfect in failing light
I stumble and falter ..hide from sight
But still they seek me…as if I provide flight
As hard as I try…I cannot fight their fight
Please take me down from the pedestal you seek
Please mark me as the humble. ..sincere and meek
I am not what you see.. I am lost and confused
Broken and shattered and slightly bruised
I am merely a shell ..a vessel so to speak
I am just like you…still wanting what I seek
Knife hovers over an accepting wrist
But I know I am worth much more than this
Tamara B. Seraph